After going to bed at midnight, yesterday morning I stumbled out of bed at 5am and surprised myself by making it to the 5:45am "boot camp" at the local YMCA. Interval cycling, suicides, squats against the wall, and crunches were all a part of this bless-ed experience. ; ) It feels somewhat amazing to be done with your workout at 7am. I then showered and went to Starbucks. Because I was planning on taking a short nap before work, I ordered a decaf tea instead of beloved coffee, and pulled out my not-so-faithful-yet-still-running laptop. And I wrote.
In December I graduated with a degree in English Literature from a small, yet respected, Christian college. I made good grades and was patted on the back several times. It felt good. I pushed hard and wrote about topics that I never thought I could. And then I came home. And now I'm a waitress. But as my former beau sweetly told me, "Audrey Ann, it's what you do--you serve food--but it's not who you are."
Instead of asking for clarification on one of Aristotle's remarks, I now ask questions like, "Sir, would you like biscuits or cornbread with that?"
I feel stupid, and I have a gut ache from seemingly too much humble pie.
Yesterday when I wrote at Starbucks, the Lord reminded me that I am still that "academic person" I was a year ago. I have learned SO.MUCH. from being a server that I would not have learned with a posh or cushy job. I have shared the beautiful gospel more than I ever have--and am becoming aware of how astoundingly blessed I am.
There is much running through my mind--and I am excited to share it with you. KNOW THIS--the Lord is so faithful to teach us and mold us.
1 comment:
Precious AA, I was thinking the exact same thoughts yesterday. I had a horrible heartache and shameful pain when I had to wait on one of my former high school teachers yesterday; I could feel my face getting red as I asked for drink orders. I kept thinking about how disappointed she must be in me, about how different my life is from what I ever expected, how academia seems like a pleasant dream now. I keep being reminded, however, that this time of waiting is not an in-between: the waiting IS the next phase. And in the waiting are blessings, love, friends, and the overwhelming truth of God's mercy and faithfulness. I think I need this time of humility much more than I need a book contract, you know? I love you, and I think about you daily.
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