God did it.

The Running Waitress is no longer a waitress!
The entire story of how God gave me this precious gift will be coming soon.

just so you know...

• Destination: Guam
• Vocation #1: Kindergarten teacher!
• Vocation #2: ESL Teacher!
• I'm going to help teach an Authentic Beauty course (the physical health portion)!
• The family I'll be living with run the school.
• Their daughter, Abigail, was a friend of mine from Teenpact. We will share a room and I look forward to the "iron sharpening iron" relationship we will have.
• I leave very soon!
• My heart is overwhelmed with excitement, nervousness, and one great big, gigantic to-do list!

I l.o.v.e Christmas

My apologies for the long absence. There is much going on and I am excited to share about it, soon.


I--ice is beautiful. Now, I don't like it on the roads, but it is so pretty, don't you think, especially in icicle form?




L--lights. Christmas lights are delightful. Sorry, I am my father's daughter and couldn't resist the pun. ; )


O--opening presents, but giving them is way more fun.


V--vanilla flavoring from Mexico that tastes like coconut to put in baked goods.


E--eating. This is a given.




C--carols. There is powerful doctrine in many of them. Really listen the next time you sing, "Oh Holy Night"


H--hustle and bustle


R--Risen. Christ is risen from the dead. This is what makes Christmas so exciting.


I--homemade icing on cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning.


S--Santa. I adore the old fashioned Santa paraphernalia. No. I don't buy the whole "you can spell Satan with Santa." You can also spell 'dog' with 'God.' We are only taking the English language into account. Christmas is about Jesus, but I can still think that the legend of Santa is cute, as long as it doesn't inhibit the understand of the truth and glory of the gospel.


T--tinsel. One day I will have a vintage tree with tinsel. *heart*


M--My family. I don't even want to think about not being with them at Christmas.


A--Amy Grant's Christmas Album. best. ever. I hear it and my spirits leap. no joke, folks.


S--Smiling at strangers while shopping...


Merry Christmas, dear readers!
And happy birthday, Abbi!

I'm a little teapot

Refinement: Removing the old that clung, revealing beauty.

The year 2010 has been, without a doubt, the most disappointing and difficult year of my twenty-two. And yet, through the massive disappointments, my Savior showed me that He and He alone is to be my hope. I must only ever run for Him.

I have idolized ideas of my future, and found that nothing compares to the greatest of knowing Jesus Christ.

It's all empty.

One of my favorite pastimes is antique store shopping. I love to browse at everything, especially the dishes. So many times I find these lovely silver pieces that are utterly tarnished and smudged.

I am like that. My refinement takes rubbing. My Savior gently, yet firmly, removes the dross. He does it for His glory and my betterment. But man, it hurts...like crazy. It's a sharp, acute pain. 

But He is beautiful, and I want to be a shiny piece of silver, one so pretty and clear that when He looks at me, He sees Himself.

May it be so.

It's a good thing I enjoy running during Autumn...

or else my waistline would be doomed.

Pumpkin desserts are delectable, and if I had the metabolism of a freight train (which I don't in the slightest), I would try a new recipe every day. Instead I opt for a new recipe about every week. So far I've baked pumpkin cake and pumpkin roll. Next up is pumpkin cheesecake. Mmm! Add some coffee and a good book, and let your worries leave you.

Happy Autumn!

(Images courtesy of google images)

a thing of beauty

"'When I went forward, I'm sure my mascara was running, my slip was probably showing, I felt completely humiliated and humbled before the cross of Christ and the Christians who had been witnessing to me. But nothing mattered but Jesus.


For the first time in my life, I wanted to declare before everybody who Jesus Christ was, who He was for me, my Lord and my Savior, and that He had died for my sins: I was a sinner, in need, needing--needing His forgiving grace and power.'


After a battle that lasted a year and a half, Cindy surrendered to the King."


~A personal testimony of Cindy Bauer by Latayne Scott

What IS a girl supposed to do without a camera?

It really bothers me that I can't post pictures. My camera has been malfunctioning (a nice way of saying that it is broken), and therefore I have no way of capturing the beautiful moments of my life...currently. I am hoping to remedy this soon. Until then, I will give you a brief list of some things I am looking forward to...

1. Overseas traveling (at the beginning of next year--more info to come)

2. Friends and family coming to visit at various times throughout the next two months

3. Finishing two baby quilts

4. My friend Tori's wedding (She's a great photographer. Check out her website here: Marvelous Things Photography)

5. CHRISTMAS!!!!

6. Last, but not least (actually it's FIRST)...I am so thrilled to see what God will do in my heart and in the hearts of those around me! It's so exciting! He is so amazing! YAY!

Whack

I am a blindfolded kid with a stick.

 Determined, I stand swinging at the pinata above my head

that obnoxiously moves up and down, back and forth.

At least, this is how I feel.

Sometimes I just want to know where I'll be in a year or where I'll be in six months. I had plans. They were good ones, too. But somehow they were only mine and not HIS. But the Lord wants me to trust Him. Every single day is a gift with which I can please Him. I view the climax of my life (or what I'm really supposed to do) as a pinata that dangles over my head, taunting and teasing me. But perhaps it's not really that way. Perhaps I am not swinging for treasures (or candies) of this earth, but for those above.

No, I don't know where I will be in six months. None of us do. The only sure thing I hold in this life is Jesus Christ and his beautiful resurrection love for me.And that is truly more than enough. I get to meet Him, really meet Him, one day.

So, handkerchief my eyes and hand me a bat, please. Paper mache never looked so good.

More About Me Monday

Random Fact: I've been to 32 of our 50 marvelous states.

I'd love to visit Maine.

What is one state you've never seen and would like to?

Welcome to Monday

Monday can be such a "blah" day. So, I am starting a "Random thing about Me" Monday post. Please don't think I'm full of myself. This will just be a fun way to let you know a little more about me, and it will be a way for me to remind myself of fun things on "blah" Mondays.

Random thing about me: I love vintage clothing.

(Photos by Red Velvet Art)

Therefore, I love this website and the owner's blog (Red Velvet Art)

It is full of oldies, pretties, and "handmadies." yay.



A Disney Princess Band-Aid

Pain.

In the attempt to show others that God is at work in my life, I have been guilty of suppressing pain, "pretending" it away. But I am learning that doing so does not show faith in God to heal me and use my scars for His glory and renown.

Instead of hiding myself away, I want to receive what the Lord has for me. It hurts when people ask me detailed questions--I am not always ready or willing, and that's okay. But instead of being a hermit, letting my wound bleed, and feeling sorry for myself, I purpose to allow God's healing touch in my life.

It's like a Disney Princess Band-Aid.

When I was a little girl, I, like many other children, LOVED wearing Band-Aids. Usually we had the cheap tan kind, but every once in an orange moon (who has actually seen a blue moon?) we would have the fun kind.
When it comes to wearing a Band-Aid, I am not advertising nor hiding my wound from them. It's no gigantic secret, but the intensity of pain and the depth of the cut can be kept quiet before the Lord.
I want Him to make beauty from my pain. May I wear His healing like a lady. Even a deep and nasty gash can be healed with the help of a pretty, pink Band-aid.
Okay, perhaps this is a very weird word picture, but there it is.

Oh, Lord, lead me.
"But God will redeem my life from the grave; he will surely take me to himself."
Psalm 49:15

Two scoops of serendipity, please

I spend the last six days on a road trip with my Grammy and two of my aunts. It was a blast, and I learned so much from all of them. We went to Charleston, SC to see my cousin get married. Unfortunately my camera died a few months back, but my aunt graciously let me borrow hers, and I plan on getting the pictures from her within a few weeks.

Along the way there were some unexpected discoveries. The breeze of serendipity whisked all around us.

1. I finished Meet Mr. Smith by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It starts out a bit quirky and slow, but it is absolutely revolutionary. If you want a book that challenges you to give your heart completely to Christ, especially in the area of romance and sexuality, please read this book! It's so exciting! I've read a lot of "purity type" books, but none like this. Here's an excerpt:

"Purity's work causes us to approach every decision, every choice with a new question burning in our hearts. Instead of, 'What is best for me?' we ask, 'What is best for the fame and renown of God?' Once you start asking that question, your life will never be the same again. In fact, many of the seemingly confusing relationship questions that plague our generation can be answered by asking that one simple question" (214).

2. We visited Berea, Kentucky, a darling college town with multiple artisan shops. The students of the college are from Appalachia, and they sell BEAUTIFUL artwork to help pay for their education. I found a pillow I loved, but it was $179.95. Oh well.

3. I was able to visit with two of my very best friends. They live around one of the towns we stayed in, and so they were able to come steal me away. YAY!

4. I read through Making the Cut by Jillian Michaels. Although I do not endorse her attire on the front cover, I am excited about starting the 30 day program. Cheer me on, okay?

5. My aunts reminded me how MUCH I have to look forward to in life. Somehow I'd forgotten a bit. But the trip helped me to recharge, and I am ready to push!

6. We spent an afternoon in downtown Charleston. I've been there before, but was thrilled to go again. It's a must-see city of America. Totally. While we were there, I really needed to "use the facilities," and I do mean really. I dismissed myself from our group and began walking and thinking, "Surely it won't be too hard to find a place near the battery--it's so touristy."
WRONG-O, little AA.
Just so you know, it's residential for blocks and blocks and blocks. After a half an hour, I became desperate.

• The kind of desperate that causes your to knock on rich people's doors and offer them a dollar to use their bathroom.
• The kind of desperate that causes you to look for giant trees and bushes and calculate how quickly you could do your business without anyone coming by.
• The kind of desperate that causes you to ask five Hispanic men working on a ritzy home if you can use their portapot. Yup. I went with this one.

And then I RAN in street clothes back to find my aunts (they were waiting on me in the hot sun).

Life is fun. Let it be.

The Lord blesses us so very much.

Lessons from the Crack House

• Never try to help fat people out by giving them less biscuits or cornbread. They will always ask for more. always. The only good thing about that is getting a few steps more of exercise in an attempt to not look like them yourself one day.

•  My two best weapons on the waitressing war path are:

1. a big smile
2. a sweet tone of voice

• Compliment womens' purses or shoes--it's a way to connect with them beyond the food you are serving them.

• NEVER give too much personal information [creepy story I don't wish to relive inserted here]

• Offer large families with small children their bread first--they will love you forever.

• Sometimes you just have to act WAY--I mean WAY--more sorry than you actually are. (Example: "Oh, sir I am SO sorry that there wasn't enough extra white gravy on your country fried steak that came with a double order of mashed potatoes and hashbrown casserole along with biscuits, extra butter and jelly. Really--I am so sorry.")

• People really do believe that they can eat whatever they want...but as long as they are guzzling Diet Coke, they are on a serious diet.

My job makes me laugh. : )

Awake my heart!

This song reminds my heart to leap for joy because of the Lord Jesus, and bids me come and dance for the Prince of my heart.

Christ is Risen by Matt Maher (check it out)

Praise. His. Name.


Wading through the pressures, hurts, and unknowns of life sometimes leads me to emotionally curl up in a ball, cover my eyes, and say, "I don't want to think about life."


The hope I have in Jesus Christ reminds me to throw out my arms, jump off the floor, and race around the house like a little girl saying, "I can think about You! Woohoo!"


Nothing should excite me more.
Not engagement. Not marriage. Not babies. (Although I do desire these immensely and will be ever so thankful for them...)

Christ is risen from the dead and I am one with Him.
It's so good I can hardly believe it.
But I do, because miracles can come true.

Cornbread and Aristotle

After going to bed at midnight, yesterday morning I stumbled out of bed at 5am and surprised myself by making it to the 5:45am "boot camp" at the local YMCA. Interval cycling, suicides, squats against the wall, and crunches were all a part of this bless-ed experience. ; ) It feels somewhat amazing to be done with your workout at 7am. I then showered and went to Starbucks. Because I was planning on taking a short nap before work, I ordered a decaf tea instead of beloved coffee, and pulled out my not-so-faithful-yet-still-running laptop. And I wrote.

In December I graduated with a degree in English Literature from a small, yet respected, Christian college. I made good grades and was patted on the back several times. It felt good. I pushed hard and wrote about topics that I never thought I could. And then I came home. And now I'm a waitress. But as my former beau sweetly told me, "Audrey Ann, it's what you do--you serve food--but it's not who you are."

Instead of asking for clarification on one of Aristotle's remarks, I now ask questions like, "Sir, would you like biscuits or cornbread with that?"

I feel stupid, and I have a gut ache from seemingly too much humble pie.

Yesterday when I wrote at Starbucks, the Lord reminded me that I am still that "academic person" I was a year ago. I have learned SO.MUCH. from being a server that I would not have learned with a posh or cushy job. I have shared the beautiful gospel more than I ever have--and am becoming aware of how astoundingly blessed I am.

There is much running through my mind--and I am excited to share it with you. KNOW THIS--the Lord is so faithful to teach us and mold us.

Needle and thread

I am waiting, praying, dying on this bed and no one knows.

Remedies of my own only induce more symptoms--regret and sorrow.

Oh, Jesus, you made the little girl live again.

Hear my prayer, please take me with you--past this feeble amen.



Let me wake--hungry for your word, not for raisin bran.

Let me run--not for five pounds lost, but so I can better stand for you.

Let me love--out of love for you and not for what I can gain in the end.



Please, take my heart and mend.



Memories find me--They are thick and rich, much like cheesecake

I miss him--it's both simple and complicated, but no mistake.

He is yours, and I know it. But he feels like mine-despite the sever.

As the orchestra played, we danced and we swayed, but not forever.



Let me wake--longing for You, Lord, not for his arms and that smile never meek

Let me see--that your plan is much more beautiful than the mole on his cheek

Let me know--you are with him now, and he's okay


Please, take our broken love. We give it to you. This I pray.

rambling...

• My brother went to college this past weekend. The house is much more quiet and "our" pew at church rather empty without him. We miss you, Cabey Jones.
• I went to a friend's bridal shower yesterday and was encouraged by like-minded women. Thank You, Jesus.
• I am constantly coming up with new workout plans, but am being rather slothful. yes. me. I know. I ran a marathon. That was four months ago, people. Habits can be lost or made in thirty days, remember?
• The Lord is blessing me with peace to FACE the pain in my life rather than continually avoiding it.
• I need to stop eating late at night.
• THE LORD IS ENOUGH. Some moments I feel this in the most secure and beautiful way, and other times I feel so shaky and alone.
• I plan to rearrange my room. start fresh. Hey, fall is totally the new spring.
• It's all about glorifying God. all. of. it. --love, laughter and the little things--
• I'm considering making this blog more theme related, but my life doesn't really have a theme, does yours? If it did have a theme, I'd like it to be that I loved the Lord above all. But alas, I am so sidetracked by ME.
• Okay, I'm done for today. The sun is shining and calling my name.

No one

Today, remember that no one loves you like the Lord Jesus. What a comfort and overwhelmingly undeserved gift that is. Revel in it and live by it. Oh, and give it.

He will hold you.

Old Habits...

die hard...

 Cereal--it will be hard, but I am sending you to your grave.

...Well, then let new habits LIVE, instead! Ever since I graduated from college, I have slowly given up some of the good and healthy habits I had at school. The result? I am more tired, less athletic, about ten pounds heavier, less educated, and SO ready to get back on track. Although it is discouraging to see that I am not "where" I want to be in some ways, it is is neat to see what the Lord has taught me, the rest He's given me, and the excitement He's blessed me with about getting on with life--full of joy and determination.

So, starting today--my [edited for blog] list of new habits to be formed--

1. Run first thing in the morning. Remember the Nike symbol, and JUST DO IT. An extra thirty minutes to an hour of sleep is NOT vital.
2. Train for half marathon--I do well with deadlines and goals
3. STOP eating breads, sugars, and watch the dairy--I've done this before and was healthier--and my acne chilled out.
4. Relax about food one meal a week (on the weekend)
5. Always be reading a book--actually finish them--I currently have three going
6. Memorize scripture (MOST IMPORTANT)

These are in no particular order, but I wanted to put them out there so that I would be more apt to stick to them. I'll let you know how this new plan unfolds. There have been immense changes take place in my life the last few weeks.
The Lord is helping me to look towards the future with joy--through the pain. I am scared to push again, and be the strict and dedicated athlete, but I am excited.

P.S. "They" say it takes thirty days to form a habit. By September 18th I should have some new "old" habits established. I will let you know tomorrow how I've done on day one. : )


EDITED: I did it! One day down--twenty-nine to go.

One Day at a Time

Isn't it such a blessing that the Lord only gives us one day to live at a time? Sometimes I scare myself thinking about carrying a certain pain or burden for months or even years. But I just need to trust God and praise Him TODAY.

So today, I will look at those birds in the air and those wildflowers along the road. They do not worry about tomorrow--so why should I?

At the end of high emotions and long analyses, I must come to the steadfast conclusion that HE IS GOD and He does indeed love me in a huge way--even if I question it.

Oh, Lord, I will praise You!

You give and take away, and my heart will choose to say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Today--I will praise you.

SOS

Sometimes as we grow older, we get this notion that we are supposed to have it all figured out. When I graduated from college, I felt pressure to have a ten year plan and all my little duckies in a row.

Here I am, a waitress. I don't even know if I have "little ducks" to have in a row. Whatever I do have seems more like chickens with their heads chopped off--flopping around in a crazed and aimless way.

But last night I prayed for help. Okay, sure, I've been praying for a long time, but I prayed, "Lord, I need help--tonight." It was a prayer of faith coupled with desperation.

The Lord answered my prayer with a conversation between my daddy and me that lasted late into the night.

In a culture that tells us to be self reliant and self indulgent and self focused and self--ISH...I was reminded to just ask. Sometimes the Lord wants us to wrestle and wait, but He will always be there.

My junior year of college I was an R.A., and we had countless "teaching games," which OF COURSE were my favorite. ; ) But anyway, one really stuck with me--they blindfolded us for nearly two hours and led us all over this camp and into a roped area where we had to figure out how to escape. Just imagine 40 college students blindfolded for two hours--nightmare of nightmares.

Yes, it was as terrible as it looks...and worse.

Taryn and AA at the beginning of the torture game

The answer of escape--and taking that blasted bandanna off of my head? (drumroll, please)

Ask the Resident Director for help.
That was all. Two hours of wandering aimlessly, bumping into people, being stepped on...

"Help. I need somebody." That was all.

Just keep knocking. The Lord is faithful.

"Ding, dong the bells are gonna chime!"

The past few days have been a flurry of phone calls, tissue paper flowers, and details, details, details. My kindred spirit, Taryn, is getting married next weekend, and I have the honor of being her maid of honor. Sometimes weddings seem overwhelming and crazy, but whenever I step back and think about her wedding, I smile at the beauty of it. A lovely wedding is appropriate for them.

As the bride she will wear white not merely because that is the tradition, but because she is truly pure--not perfect, but pure by the grace of Jesus.
As a couple they will enjoy their honeymoon in complete fullness. For that I am both proud and joyful.
When I stand beside her that day, I will smile with confidence that even if they face difficulties, they will overcome them, for this marriage is not contingent merely upon happiness, but on holiness, and from that holiness will bring joy unending.

Here's to Tim and Taryn, who desire God more than wealth, fame, or one another.

I decided this week to continue with this blog. No, I am not training for a marathon, or even planning on training for one. However, this last month I joined the YMCA and have enjoyed running again as well as Zumba and kickboxing. Alas, a few of my injuries remain (in the hip area), but the Lord has blessed me with the ability to exercise with minimal pain.

Much has happened in my life since I last posted, but more than anything, I am learning to trust Jesus with my heart, which I have not always done. So many times like a selfish and scared child I grabbed it from Him, ran to a corner and curled up in a ball yelling, "No! No! You can't have it!" And in the end I am the one who bruises it because I refused to let go--like a child squeezing, quite literally, the life out of a caterpiller or lightning bug because he "loves it."

Oh, how little I know and how faithful He is. Today I am learning to trust Him.

Zach, Gretchen, Licia, and Lori--you all are my heroes.

My daddy and me--feeling the emotions of being done

                                                               I ran the marathon!
                                Thank you all for your support!
                                     More pictures to come...

Praise Jesus for His tender love towards us!

 One step at a time, He leads us if we follow.

This is why I run

When I first met Jeffy, he looked like this...

But after two weeks of food and love from

Real Hope for Haiti...

Look at those sweet dimples! Praise God for His miracles, and let's help those who are being the hands and feet of Jesus.

To sponsor me:

Checks can be made out to

"Real Hope for Haiti"-write "Audrey Ann" in the memo and send to

Real Hope for Haiti

PO Box 23

Elwood, IN 46036

Online giving can be done at http://www.haitirescuecenter.com/

Please email me with the donated amount, so that I can have an idea how much I raised. Thank you so much!

audreyannsanders@yahoo.com 

His love will never let us go! Let's help others know that love!

My valiant Prince of Peace

Sometimes I become frantic about situations and issues in my life, and I try to take them over myself. You know what results? A mess. A major mess.

My prayer:

May my ears hear what You desire me to hear.
May my heart ache for and take delight in what You deem.
May my eyes notice and view what You want.
May my mouth speak your word.
May my inmost being yearn for You alone, the Living God.

The word "peace" is often underestimated. We see it as meaning "let's all get along," "wars are evil," or "a fuzzy feeling that makes us feel a sort of euphoria." But really, peace can come through a battle. The Lord Jesus is the Prince of Peace. When a battle is waging in my heart, and I am struck with deep sadness, the Prince may not carry me out of it right away, but He will lead me, and fight for me. Peace is not the absence of suffering, but the assurance that the Lord truly does know best, that He will be victorious, and that I am never alone.

spring

Isn't it beautiful that God brings different seasons to us?

As much as I complain about snow, what a miraculous and joyous occasion when the sun returns and green appears. There is a song by Nichole Nordeman that I wish I wrote called, "Every Season."I have the lyrics below, or you could listen to it here.

"Every Season" Nichole Nordeman

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

At one time in my life, I did not fully understand when people talked about life as a journey or a road. But now I do. It winds and curves and there are hills, so many hills. But at the end of the day, when the sun is setting in a beautiful display of pinks and oranges, I can smile and truly know my soul is at rest. There is so much I do not know. There are so many fears. But the Maker and Sustainer of the universe holds me. So I can run, walk, and rest on that road in peace.

Sometimes loosening the grasp is the only way to clasp.

As I let go and reach for His hand--I dance a dance never before possible.

Praise His name for Him and His "all things are new" reality.

Last week I was able to run more--what a blessing. Please continue to consider sponsoring me, and please pray that I heal completely. Thank you so much!

Just some thoughts

                            Lillies of the valley are a reminder to me of the beauty and splendor of purity.

The love of God compels us...to act. to live. to breathe. to sleep well. to speak [of Him]...now.

The world compels me to freak out about finding an awesome job that people will say "Wow" with uplifted eyebrows when I tell them what I "do." 

The world compels me to make myself worthy of being in a parade--possessing beauty, charm, and a swimsuit body. 

But the Lord compels me to bow before His throne, in agony of my sin. He compels me to look at His face while tears rush down mine.

He currently compels me to see that I am not the lead character in a movie about me. I am not the heroine. I am not the one with the epic music playing in the background as I enter the room. Oh no, it is Him. Do you know Him? He is the Prince, and His name is Jesus. I am ashamed to say that I have hurt Him every day of my life, but I want to make Him deeply pleased with me. HE is the hero. I am an extra--a backup extra, even. But I will be ready, lines or not, when He calls me on the stage. I want to be ready. No messing around. 

May I not be His princess in title only, but in action.

News...

Well, I'm not as fast, I get winded easily, and I am behind in my training...but folks...

I can run again!
And I am serious about doing this thing.



Please pray for the Zacharys.
And please pray that I will grow stronger--quickly.
Thank you all. :)

I'm learning...

Let this be our heart's cry...

Set Apart Girl (check it out) Listen to this three minute clip.

As Haiti fades from the media limelight...

This song is for those of us who try to forget.

"Headphones" by Jars of Clay

I was introduced to this song when I came back from Haiti, and it will always be my reminder that even though I can try to forget, my life will never be the same, and I have a responsibility. Hurting people exist. Don't close your eyes. Jesus didn't. May this song convict you to action. Pull your headphones out and LIVE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGfrwVxvlMY (listen to it here)

I don't have to hear it, if I don't want to
I can drown this out, pull the curtains down on you
it's a heavy world, it's too much for me to care
If I close my eyes, it's not there


With my headphones on, with my headphones on
With my headphones on, with my headphones on
We watch television...but the sound is something else


Just a song played against the drama,
so the hurt is never felt
I take in the war-fires, and I'm
chilled by the current events
it's so hopeless, but there's a pop song in my


Headphones on, in my headphones on
With my headphones on, with my headphones on


At the Tube Stop, you sit down across from me
(I can see you looking back at me)
I think I know you
By the sad eyes that I see
I want to tell you (It's a heavy world)
Everything will be okay
You wouldn't hear it (I don't want to have to hear it)
So we go our separate ways...


With our headphones on, with our headphones on
With our headphones on, with our headphones on
I don't wanna be the one who tries to figure it out
I don't need another reason I should care about you


You don't want to know my story
You don't want to own my pain
Living in a heavy, heavy world
And there's a pop song in my head


I don't want to have to hear it

Let us remember

Today marks one month since the tragic earthquake hit Haiti.

Here are a few pictures by Los Angeles Times photographers Carolyn Cole, Rick Loomis and Brian Vander Brug (used without permission...please do not sue me)

Let us pray. Oh God, there is NO WAY for me to explain this away with any worldview training.

(Yes, those people in the background are deceased.)

But I do know, Lord, that You are trustworthy and good. Please let your love and provision fall on them in a powerful way. And let them rise again...for YOU.

In Jesus name, Amen

Let's help. No, really, let's help.

--We have enough time and money to buy a four dollar latte at Starbucks.
--We have enough time and money to put leftovers in the fridge.
--We have enough time and money to pay more for organic.
--We have enough time and money to enjoy a hot shower.
--We have enough time and money to surf the internet.
--We have enough time and money to sit around and watch the Superbowl.

Look at these pictures (not suitable for young eyes) now.

http://www.latimes.com/la-fg-haiti-hires-html,0,5775052.htmlstory

The Lord convicted me a few days ago about my attitude with regard to the marathon. With my hip the way it is, I may have to walk part of the distance.
 However, I was not satisfied with that. I wanted to cross that finish line triumphantly, with a respectable time and feeling good about myself.
But then I realized, if I am really doing this for the hurting in Haiti, for the gospel to be spread, then I would remember that many people there no longer have legs on which to walk, let alone run.
Thousands no longer have the breath of life. I am so blessed. This marathon training was started to raise financial and prayer support for Real Hope for Haiti. And I will finish the training in the same way.
Please pray for them.
Don't forget about the earthquake--and don't think they have received plenty of aid. Many of the major organizations are suspected to be corrupt. The missionaries of Jesus Christ need our help. We are the church. Let's live like it...and I'm certainly talking to myself as well.
Thank you for everything! Philippians 4:19

Sinister Cereal

I'm just a...

 box of Rice Krispies. (TM)

All I do is SNAP, CRACKLE, and POP.

I am looking up stretches and exercises that will help this injury. Something in my lower back/hip feels like it comes out of its place every time I extend my leg and bring it down. Anyone have any suggestions? I am determined to do this, but want to be wise in the process. Thanks.

I went to the doctor and the doctor said...

This afternoon I went to an athletic trainer and after some pushing and pulling, he said that...

BAD NEWS: I do have a problem with my hip flexor and a small leg muscle (I will not attempt to spell the name). I am extremely tight from my lower back all the way along my left side to my left knee.

GOOD NEWS: Most likely I will still be able to run the marathon!!! OH, how I hope this is true! My family will just have to help press and loosen the tight points daily, and I need to find a flatter surface on which to run. Please pray that it will get better soon.

Thank you all so much for your support. Tell your friends and ask them to sponsor me for the hurting people of Haiti at Real Hope for Haiti. : )

Already A Bride

Today I am broken before the Father.

But His wisdom is perfect and I will trust Him.

I am hesitant to parade my sorrows on a blog--this is not my personal diary.
Suffice it to say that something happening in my life is very difficult.


As my wonderful friend, Emily S. said of the Lord,
"He loves us passionately. Audrey Ann, we are already His bride."
How completely beautiful He is to us.
No, I do not fully understand all of this...or why many things happen.

The catastrophe in Haiti FAR overshadows any personal pain I carry. I want to help the people, but my hip has been so sore, and I am worried about my ability to do this.

But LIFE is not about what I can or cannot do or handle; it is about giving up everything I do have to my precious Lord, even when I don't have a clue about His plan.


He wants me to trust Him. And I will, even through the tears...because in the Lord, there is fullness of joy. So, bring on the joy! : ) Okay, I'm signing out for today. Going running in the morning! love to you all, AA

My hip doesn't lie...it just hurts

          I'm sorry for the absence. Here's the deal, my hip is a little messed up, and I am trying to rest and make sure it's fully healed so that it doesn't slow me down any after this. The roads I run on are higher in the middle than the side (for water drainage), and I think that really strained my left hip and leg. I have not run since Friday, which feels SO weird. But I will try to run later on this week.
         Please pray for me. But pray for the people of Haiti more. I know that they are currently the "popular" cause. But please be careful with where you send your money. Larger agencies make no promises of distributing the millions of dollars they receive directly to the Haitians. The money is merely deposited into their general fund. I am not saying they are hoarding the money, but my advice is to give to missionaries in Haiti. If you want to give to an organization, I recommend World Vision or Compassion.
         If you desire to sponsor me, please email me the amount you are pledging. When my race is completed, I will send the information on how to donate the money to Real Hope for Haiti. Yes, they need the money NOW. But my heart is to raise some funds for them later as well, after all the media excitement has died down. Let us not forget. Thank you all for your support, and I would appreciate comments so that I know you're reading. May the Lord be with you. love, Audrey Ann

The Two Joes

     The past few days the story of Joseph has been playing over in my mind. Actually, both Josephs in the Bible and their stories have come to the front of my mind, dancing around and giving me hope that maybe I'm not so crazy.

     Of all the thousands of sermons I have heard in my life, the one that stands out the most is the one I heard at Port au Prince Fellowship about Joseph of the Old Testament. I learned that sometimes we try to kick open a door that God is closing, and sometimes we focus on David and Goliath, but forget about Stephen and the fact that God was with him, too. Isolated circumstances of our lives...of my life...don't seem to make sense sometimes, but I just need to remember that it probably didn't make sense to Joseph when his brothers threw him in a pit to die, or sold him, or when he was thrown in jail, only to be forgotten even after he correctly interpreted.

     And about the other Joseph...here is a man who trusted God despite what his culture told him, despite the societal dishonor with which it crowned him. He walked past all of it into the grand role of being the Savior's earthly father.

     Sometimes I just do. not. get. it. Sometimes things don't "make sense."
But HE alone is God, and I am not.
I rest and walk and run in full confidence that His plan is perfect and far better than mine.

     Please continue to pray for everyone in Haiti...and if you could remember my hip in prayer, I would appreciate it.

The adventures of AA and an overzealous black lab

Today's Findings.
--Another mutilated mouse. yick.

The most interesting findings today were discovered by my running buddy, John Deere, the black dog who follows me. He found...

--A poopy diaper thoughtfully placed in a ziplock bag--JD pranced up to me, so proud of his treasure, but instead of feeling pride in return, I replied, "Oh my goodness, get that thing away from me!"

--A big, golden, dead chicken. no joke. Towards the end of my run I was slowing down, and I looked behind me because JD usually stays ahead of me, but I had not seen him for a bit. He was carrying something quite large and brown...like a giant piece of wood. But no, it was a hen. I don't think he killed it, but you never know. As I was turning right onto another road, JD kept going straight, stopped in the dead center of the road, and gently set down the chicken...and he left it there! Ahahahaha! Oh, that dog is a gift from God. : ) Thank you, Lord. Perhaps someone will find the chicken and make some soup. Hey, you never know.

Please continue to pray for Haiti. There are so many wounded, dead, and missing. We have no idea what they are going through.

His Hands are Huge

Today I wondered what to write. My left hip has been giving me sharp and jabbing pain during my runs, but I thought to myself, "Why should I even mention this to anyone? Think about the excruciating pain so many are feeling in Haiti." But my hope is that with a strong body I can raise money for them, so I try to console myself that I'm not being so selfish.


Oh my. Do you ever feel like you are in a battle against yourself?

So much guessing. So much wondering. And then the Lord gently reminds me, "I am here. Come unto me." He's got the whole world in His hands, remember? Haiti. Me. You. Your crazy neighbor next door. All of us.



So, in order to spice up these posts, I have decided to add a section about the things I find on runs that go ashamedly unnoticed when you are in the car blissfully listening to Josh Groban on the way to Walmart. Here it goes:



Today's Findings:



1. Dirt slushy mountains. Like a thousand. Okay, so maybe you notice that in the car, but you don't feel it in your shoes when you are in the car.



2. A dead, mutilated little mouse, thawing in the sun. Yum.



3. Three very black dogs fighting on the road, trying to get me involved. They kept running up, bumping into me as if to say, "Hey this is fun, come on, join us!" I yelled, "No! Back! Go home!" I should've yelled, "I am not a dog, sorry to disappoint you all! Just because I have black pants on does not involve me in this."



4. Sticks I think are snakes for a second...this happens a lot. : )

Thank you all for your support. I intend to give information soon about how to technically sponsor me. May the Lord be with you! He is all we need. Pray for the people in Haiti--for healing, comfort, food, water, the saving power of Jesus Christ, and the comfort and power of the Holy Spirit. Amen. And remember that His hands hold it all. He will not forsake His children.

Visit

http://www.haitirescuecenter.wordpress.com/ and

http://www.livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/ to learn more about how they are coping.

The Earthquake

PLEASE PRAY.

        Thank the Lord that the Zacharys, the Moises, and Betors (the missionaries at RHFH) are safe. Their walls are cracked, and some of their nannies have lost their homes. But in Port au Prince it is a different story, as you can read about, or even see on television. I have missionary friends there who are safe, but need the Lord's divine touch to get through what is ahead of them, and even to process what is behind them. This is my prayer:

Dear Jesus,

     You know the "whys" even when I do not. You see all the cries, screams, blood, and chaos in Haiti. Shower that land and its people with your presence. Be strongly with the missionaries. Please provide abundant food and water, especially now that the main grocery store is gone. This I pray. Hush the fears of the little ones. Comfort them, please. Oh God, please take this country, and don't let satan touch it. We know you are holy and perfect. And even though I don't understand why you allowed this to happen, I know you love those people so much. Please build Haiti back up as a strong nation that follows you. Help we who are not in Haiti to know what to do during this time. I love you, Jesus. Please help me to rest in knowing that You are God, and I am not. Silence my heart. But I DO cry out for these people! Be with them, Father! Please!

My Friend, Running

A few days ago, I trudged home, and noticed my mother creeping behind me in the van. She pulled up in front of me and I felt slightly like a celebrity as she shot some photos. This was near the end of my run, and I tried my best to look presentable, but sometimes you just have to go with what you have, haha! : )

It's so fun to run! Okay, not all the time...but it is rewarding. Just put some good tunes in and go. Thanks to all of you who read and are supporting me. May the Lord be with you strongly!

Life's not fair...how wonderful!

I feel inept to write anything super inspirational today. Let me just share what I've been learning.

The magnitude of my unworthiness overwhelms me. It is a burden on my back I ignored for a long time. The blessing about running is that it brings me to the end of myself--physically, yes, but also emotionally and mentally at times, and I am able to cry out to God. What baffles me is that the Lord is completely aware that I am unworthy, and still smiles and asks me to come to Him. And then I realize that it's not about the burden of being unworthy; it's about the blessing of grace that is amazingly--somehow--by His power greater than all my sin. Praise His name.

Never Run Alone

Running is so much easier when you have a friend beside you. Whether it's the friendly black lab, my dad, or Mrs. R down the road who helps coach the high school ladies' cross country, the wind and frigid weather turn out not so bad after all. I think that's the way the Lord made us. Many times I strain towards a goal by myself--but find that it's always easier to get up in the morning if you know a face you love will soon be there to greet you.
Sometimes, however, I know the Lord does lead us through tunnels of loneliness and across bridges in our lives that shake us and push us to grip the side of the bridge and yell, "HELP, GOD! I can't do this anymore." But He is there. When I'm running with or without a running buddy, He is there. I am sure. Sometimes when I run, I just want to flop onto the ground and curl up in a ball--just quit. But He urges me on--and sometimes I can feel Him in pace right next to me. Neighbors probably think I'm crazy--but I open my arms wide, throw back my head as the theme song from "Chariots of Fire" plays in my head. Okay, so maybe I am a little crazy. But of this I am sure--He's with me. : )

A fresh start...

Happy new year! Today my family and I opened our time capsule we made ten years ago. It was full of trinkets that represented who we were at the time--a plastic horse, a piano recital program, and a dramatic letter into the future were a few of mine. Time is a funny companion through life, isn't it?
So, do any of you have New Year resolutions? I have a bucket list I wrote in my journal. Hopefully  I can complete them. January can be such a dull month--but I want to grow and learn new skills and live life to the hilt. Winter does not have to ruin us. The flowers are coming quicker than we realize. : )