Sorry!

I know; I know, shame on me, it's been so long since I've posted--seriously ridiculous on my part. Since the last post, the Lord taught me to breathe and enjoy my classroom, praying in the Spririt along the way for wisdom, strength, and joy. Also, after being on Guam about half a year, I went home to visit for my brother's graduation, and now I am back on Guam in the school's new location. It's so marvelous! Just wait until I show you pictures. Wow! Our school (which doubles as our home) is on the edge of a cliff that looks out onto the blue, blue, Pacific Ocean. What a blessed girl I am.
What a blessed girl I am. How I forget that at times...not always, but sometimes. I will try to be more consistent with my blogging. Check back soon!

this backpack

The Lord has given me the privilege of being the main supervisor over thirty middle schoolers and highschoolers. I deal with autism, ADD/ADHD, epilepsy, demonic possession (so it seems), and plain old rebellion. There are students who...
push e.v.e.r.y. button
cut every blessed piece of anything in front of them
roll on the floor
spit in my face
can't give me one second of peace
need motivation
are talking about suicide
have been molested
are just plain lazy
have much girl drama and attitude
are deeply wounded
have been physically intimidating
are very disrespectful
REFUSE to stay seated
want to date me
whine constantly

As a woman who looks young and only stands a bit over five feet, this has been quite a challenge. so many tasks. so much sternness. I have to defy my personality in order to maintain order and professionalism. It wears me out--this work, this love. There is no such thing as personal space, haha!

But beyond all the crazy, there is such joy and peace. This is a gift, this adventure of love, of wacko I-must-be doing-this-for-the-Lord. From wake to sleep, I have a mission. I carry a backpack of burdens, but every night I can lay them before the feet of sweet Jesus. When I first started working with the older students, I was so overwhelmed because I thought that I had to FIX everything, and that every problem was my fault, somehow. But really, I just have to stay near the Lord and softly summon them to Him. Some days I just walk away for a second and pray for strength for that moment, for that hour, that day. And His refreshing waters of peace and strength do NOT run dry. Even in the loneliest of moments...He is there. He is my knight, helping me slay the dragons of my stinky attitude towards conflict with the students.

It feels heavy sometimes, that backpack, but HE is the strength of my life, my heart. And HE is my portion forever.

Jesus

Usually I come to my blogpost knowing, for the most part, what I want to write. I try to be fairly witty and thought-provoking. But tonight, all I can say is...Jesus.



JESUS.


There is nothing good in me, outside of Him. Yes, I am giving my life at this school and trying to be a vessel of His love and grace. Yes, it's SUCH an amazing adventure and way to use my life for the Kingdom. But what am I without Him? nothing. Seems like those in my generation are all about self-promotion and advertisement. We take and edit fifty-thousand  pictures of ourselves for our blogs or facebook, and yet refuse to memorize God's Word, or make that phone call to someone in need, or just sit and listen to the Savior. I'm just a clay pot, and a cracked one at that.

He's giving me such joy in the work I do! Through the stress, God gives me gifts of hilarious moments with the students, as well as glimpses that God is convicting their hearts. Yes, I have many stories to tell, but as I said before, tonight I must remind you, His name is...


JESUS.
and His love is extravagant.
and He is coming soon.
i should just stop typing...because He's too wonderful for words... 

Flexible

One major challenge while working at P.I.C.A. is that my job description changes regularly. At first I jolted and figuratively stomped my foot in frustration and stubbornness.

I thought (and even verbally expressed), "NO. I do NOT want to and CANNOT do all of these things and be in charge of so much!"

Why the internal attitude? Simply put, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm prideful. If I can't do something in an amazing way, I would rather not touch it. If I'm not great, I feel bad about myself.

For example, I'm not an amazing pianist. Therefore, I didn't want to play in front of people.

But you know what I'm learning? Our talents (no matter how tiny) are not ours. They are HIS.

On the musical day of Regional Student Convention, when I was to accompany two student ensembles and one duet, I remember praying, "Lord, be glorified. Let this not be about me, but about You. Help me, please." I was desperate and dependent, but finally willing. And it seems that is where He wants me, at least for now.

In my missionary work I wear many "hats," including: supervisor, math and English tutor, coach, errand runner, pianist (for church and school), music helper, mentor...

 But most importantly, I am a daughter of King Jesus. Therefore, I can go through my days with peace, no matter how inadequate I feel. He is worthy of everything I have and everything I [think I ]don't have.


An Update:
~I am now the head supervisor of fourteen Junior high/ highschool students and assistant to an additional fourteen. Please pray for me as my responsibilities increase, that I would be who I need to be--completely.
~The past two weeks has been Spring break, and filled with fun as well as work, and I am thankful for such a refreshing time.

Embrace the joy (and craziness) of life

 

 

                                                              

 

 

 

 

                                                                  Team-building games

 

Micronesia Mall

                                       Lovely "weeds" that grow (on a vine) behind the school

                                                    There are lots of large bugs here...

                           The offices fell down, but look at our men go! ;)

                                          Miss Judy--this woman works so hard for the school!

                                           The Wii...an incentive to get all their work done,
                                                           and oh man, do they love it.

                                   

                                                    I work 'em hard at practice. Haha!

 

                      Garage sale day: when we said goodbye to the couches, and the students mourned.

                                              It is so much work to run a school.

                                                                      A training day

                                                                         oh yum.

                                                               half marathon with Kelli

                                                                       simply hilarious.

Regional Student Convention: Micronesia

                                                                 This guy is too cute.

                                                         Torian and Eddison playing chess

                                                Temple Christian School Junior Ensemble

                                                        and their highschool ensemble


                                                                    Track and Field...

                                                                       Go Sarah!

                                                                      I love this girl...

                                                                   ...and these girls

 

 Great job, Nathan!

                                           Sarah and me during a tire-flipping race! So fun!

                                                         The guys were quite a bit faster.

Let us run and not grow weary, 

when we are doing what the Lord called us to do.

Earthquakes &Tsunamis of the Pacific

Today I was interviewed by a stateside newspaper about the earthquake in Japan and how it has touched Guam. Here was my response:

As far as the tsunami, Guam was barely touched physically. However it did create an emotional stir amongst the people. Many islanders are well acquainted with the devastation of tsunamis and earthquakes. There are many on the island who are either natives of Japan, or have family and friends there.  One way the earthquake in Japan may influence Guam is the economy. Japanese tourism is a major source of income on the island, so anything that strains Japan is likely to strain Guam.

The father of the family I live with performs weddings for the japanese tourists. They come to Guam to get an "American" wedding and honeymoon. With the upheaval right now, there is a big chance that tourism with slow down, and it could tamper with our financial stability, but of course we trust in the Lord.

Today at school I was helping a darling little Philippino boy memorize scripture verses. I was explaining to him how Jesus is the Light of the world, and he looked up, met my eyes with an intensity beyond what is commonly seen in one so small and said, "Are tsunamis bad, Ms. Audrey Ann? Should we be afraid of tsunamis? Are they really bad?" I went on to try and comfort him while being honest as well, sharing with him the hope of Jesus, no matter the circumstance.

As with all catastrophes and disasters, we are once again reminded that we have no control over the earth, but because of Jesus, we don't have to be afraid. Rather, we just need to be ready to trust Him and love others. The children I work with are afraid and bothered, but I pray that this will draw them and thousands of others closer to the precious Savior whose voice can calm the sea. Hallelujah.

Excitement

P.I.C.A. volleyball team--I love these girls!

• Have I told you that I love my new job? Well, I do. The school in which I teach has an individualized learning emphasis, so much of my teaching is one-on-one tutoring. It's so cool to walk around the room, one moment I'm working through an algebra problem, then I'm teaching about the orbit of the earth around the sun, and then I'm explaining the Bible memory section to a student who has no background in the Word.
• We had our first volleyball scrimmage yesterday---and we WON! All those practices paid off. : ) I was so proud of my girls, and especially proud because they worked together. Our school came out and cheered us on (the Kindergarteners SCREAMED us on). haha!
• A situation arose at school that shook the peace, for sure. Jesus, we need your presence.
• There are difficult days here, but I absolutely love it and know that I'm to be here right now. My heart is full with love.
• The tsunami rattled everyone. Please pray for those in Japan and others who were hurt.
• Late last night there was a knock at the door. Abby and I ran to answer (it was her brother) and a few minutes later walked back to a strange smell. Opened the door and FLAMES were right next to our bed! Our huge, lovely painting we splurged on together was being eaten by our candle. The picture had fallen off of its perch onto the nightstand. Sad. day. But at least nothing else was damaged. Our poor painting. Sigh. I will try to fix it.

The day in a nutshell:
math, science, screaming, a major fight, volleyball game, tsunami, Abby out during the tsunami warning, FIRE in our room, a rap about me (written by one of the students, ha), a wonderful talk with my sister Abby. It was quite the day.
A day on Guam in the life of a missionary...always interesting, for sure.
 : ) And the truth is: I love it.